Why do I always find myself looking at this question? I have heard it so many times, and been in situations where it is obvious the guy isn't worth it...and yet where am I? I always find myself looking for a way back into the rut.
Well, right now, I find myself confussed about a boy who had my heart for a while. We went through a patch or two but he always had something I wanted. He was so self-assured. Thats probably why I was most drawn to him. I wanted to be as happy with myself as he was with himself. And even when he left me for another girl, I kept a string. I told myself nothing would happen between us again, but that wasn't the case. Becuase he asked me for another chance, and that little string was tugged. It was a tug I had waited forever for.
It wasn't like he was a completely horrible person. He was funny, sweet, and he was there for me when I needed it. And trust me, I needed a lot more then I expected. We never got in fights, but maybe that wasn't as good of a sign as I thought. I always figured the time we couldn't see eachother would seem like nothing to the time we were together. Because when we were together, I always felt at ease. But I guess the kisses weren't really enough.
He made a mistake. Or two, I guess. And we broke up, I treated him like crap and the people I knew who already had issues with him were twenty times worse. But, now I find myself completely lost.
He says he has feelings for me, and I told him I do too, but I still find myself in one lock. He can be silly, but also be a jerk, and he said a few times that he would want to be with me again, but he also says he doesn't know what life holds. In otherwords, he isn't ready for the commitment again. So I am stuck where I have been to many times before. I am waiting for a stupid little tug of that string I just can't bare to cut.
-Peace Out (:
