Is this really happening?

So there's a guy. There always is...And he is funny, sweet, amazing, and adorable. What's the fault, you ask? Ah, his girlfriend. Haha. There's always a girlfriend.
Well, I have liked him for a while, and he knows it. Im pretty sure this alone just told him it was him. It's just how I roll. Eh.
We went out once, and I thought it was ok. He had a bit of a hard time before me and I knew I was helping him. I just didn't know I was making him a better guy for a different girl. I guess you never really do...
So now I know he's happy, but it bugs me. I just keep wondering if there was ever a chance for me. I wonder if I would have ever made him as happy as his current girlfriend does. I never really got the chance to see any proof of his feelings.
But with the way things are with his girlfriend, I don't want to get in the way. I want him happy, no matter what. I just can't help but question if I really was worth the time to him, and if I would have stood a chance under different conditions.
-Peace Out :)

Confusion;;Lifes Own Antideperessant

Why do I always find myself looking at this question? I have heard it so many times, and been in situations where it is obvious the guy isn't worth it...and yet where am I? I always find myself looking for a way back into the rut.
Well, right now, I find myself confussed about a boy who had my heart for a while. We went through a patch or two but he always had something I wanted. He was so self-assured. Thats probably why I was most drawn to him. I wanted to be as happy with myself as he was with himself. And even when he left me for another girl, I kept a string. I told myself nothing would happen between us again, but that wasn't the case. Becuase he asked me for another chance, and that little string was tugged. It was a tug I had waited forever for.
It wasn't like he was a completely horrible person. He was funny, sweet, and he was there for me when I needed it. And trust me, I needed a lot more then I expected. We never got in fights, but maybe that wasn't as good of a sign as I thought. I always figured the time we couldn't see eachother would seem like nothing to the time we were together. Because when we were together, I always felt at ease. But I guess the kisses weren't really enough.
He made a mistake. Or two, I guess. And we broke up, I treated him like crap and the people I knew who already had issues with him were twenty times worse. But, now I find myself completely lost.
He says he has feelings for me, and I told him I do too, but I still find myself in one lock. He can be silly, but also be a jerk, and he said a few times that he would want to be with me again, but he also says he doesn't know what life holds. In otherwords, he isn't ready for the commitment again. So I am stuck where I have been to many times before. I am waiting for a stupid little tug of that string I just can't bare to cut.
-Peace Out (:

Im bringing COLOR BACK!?!?!

People are so boring these days. It's almost as though we have faded to black and white. And when did this happen? When was it decided that color was our and bland and neutrals were in? I don't know that, but I do know I never got a say in it.

So I will fight. No more conforming. I am going to break the barriers and do what most would see as crazy. And do you know why? Because without a little insanity we all become drones. I would never be able to tell anyone from anyone. If you weren't crazy before then, you would definately be close.

It is truely sad. People are that selfconscience and so used to following, that breaking this is like going against human nature. People get so into a pattern that it is all they see and can do. Well I don't think I have a 'pattern' anymore. Or maybe my pattern is just one big squiggly mess. I have less restrictions maybe.

What a thought eh? Well I guess thats all for now. Tell me what you think is you have opinions.

-Peace Out (: